I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
