Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
