Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
