your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
