Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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