We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
