You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
