i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
