Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

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  (716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world. http://tfl.nu/xqix
  Replies (10) Good night (917) Bad night (2017)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It's like God shit irony all over that family

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  (703): It's like God shit irony all over that family http://tfl.nu/i9ev
  Replies (45) Good night (2515) Bad night (813)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends

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  (651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure (1-651): you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/j2wt
  Replies (32) Good night (934) Bad night (8166)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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  (203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust. http://tfl.nu/xny1
  Replies (31) Good night (3883) Bad night (656)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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  (727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33
  Replies (39) Good night (5500) Bad night (913)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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  (765): I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/jw9u
  Replies (17) Good night (792) Bad night (4169)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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  (509): also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight. http://tfl.nu/qnxk
  Replies (10) Good night (907) Bad night (905)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.

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  (+61): I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken. http://tfl.nu/mq32
  Replies (7) Good night (1126) Bad night (691)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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  (281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3
  Replies (7) Good night (1559) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

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  (662): Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!? http://tfl.nu/mo9h
  Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (502)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (11) Good night (1034) Bad night (396)
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  (650): View more from California

  Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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  (650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (348)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.

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  (303): I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process. http://tfl.nu/smqj
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (240)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.

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  (412): i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass. http://tfl.nu/godv
  Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (222)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.

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  (602): I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater. http://tfl.nu/ixlx
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (212)

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