This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.