Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209
  Replies (9) Good night (2929) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown. http://tfl.nu/w5m1
  Replies (35) Good night (2145) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  ew wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed. (763): ew wtf http://tfl.nu/st4c
  Replies (83) Good night (1516) Bad night (8402)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha how do you remember that?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  HOW COULD I FORGET?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later. (1-717): Haha how do you remember that? (717): HOW COULD I FORGET?! http://tfl.nu/ylr0
  Replies (39) Good night (5612) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW" http://tfl.nu/b6ij
  Replies (17) Good night (5970) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech http://tfl.nu/je9d
  Replies (19) Good night (4103) Bad night (1780)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  I honestly don't know what to make of that.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A ham sandwich would be nice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich. (1-423): I honestly don't know what to make of that. (423): A ham sandwich would be nice. http://tfl.nu/fg3s
  Replies (16) Good night (7808) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3732) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand. http://tfl.nu/k6dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6827) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/xdgs
  Replies (4) Good night (1229) Bad night (2727)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude. http://tfl.nu/8jyj
  Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants" http://tfl.nu/nrn2
  Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk. http://tfl.nu/qbsc
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life http://tfl.nu/b2dk
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (212)

Randomize