fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night