Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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  (518): She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog. http://tfl.nu/0zps
  Replies (10) Good night (752) Bad night (2801)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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  (559): if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean http://tfl.nu/a5l2
  Replies (5) Good night (949) Bad night (2047)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

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  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7352) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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  (972): Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy http://tfl.nu/ylro
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (2929)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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  (859): we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/uye4
  Replies (5) Good night (2274) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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  (+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2
  Replies (4) Good night (1800) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  You're a good friend.

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  (770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1258) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

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  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.

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  (215): the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked. http://tfl.nu/uz4z
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night

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  (401): My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night http://tfl.nu/qfjr
  Replies (4) Good night (1409) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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  (713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of

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  (404): How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of http://tfl.nu/yhrq
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.

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  (832): just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me. http://tfl.nu/y6sy
  Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (269)

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