I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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