I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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