the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i dont even know how to be here
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops