I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila