The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening