those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say