I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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