mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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