so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
