idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
