i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize