I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
