I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this will be a night to untag.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize