He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
