So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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