Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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