I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
