I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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