its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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