His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
