CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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