No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
