You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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