Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize