It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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