Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
