i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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