if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
