just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
