Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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