In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
