No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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