"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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