I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
