so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
