Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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(614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq

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(425): View more from Washington

I proposed and she said yes man.

(1-425): View more from Washington

You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?

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(425): I proposed and she said yes man. (1-425): You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right? http://tfl.nu/wbvk

Replies (25) Good night (5672) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat

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(907): i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat http://tfl.nu/gmsd

Replies (20) Good night (2739) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

can you take me to a tanning bed

(1-716): View more from New York

sure, why though?

(716): View more from New York

i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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(716): can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious http://tfl.nu/lgox

Replies (31) Good night (490) Bad night (6264)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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(651): It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks. http://tfl.nu/wi6e

Replies (12) Good night (581) Bad night (3639) Order T-Shirt
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(254): View more from Texas

There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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(254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2

Replies (35) Good night (7095) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

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(480): Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness? (774): Someone just got laid. http://tfl.nu/ub8q

Replies (17) Good night (9090) Bad night (1070)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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(630): Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit. http://tfl.nu/nygb

Replies (33) Good night (4062) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window

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(+44): he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window http://tfl.nu/rkda

Replies (10) Good night (2888) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious

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(605): Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious http://tfl.nu/m6oe

Replies (9) Good night (4263) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.

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(817): Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass. http://tfl.nu/wbhi

Replies (18) Good night (3480) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

(512): View more from Texas

I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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(512): I feel like someone had their period in my eyes. (512): I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night. http://tfl.nu/gefs

Replies (8) Good night (524) Bad night (1941)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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(603): Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night http://tfl.nu/dak1

Replies (9) Good night (1602) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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(660): View more from Missouri

People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic

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(660): People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic http://tfl.nu/zs06

Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i need some food

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

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(724): i need some food (412): Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him. http://tfl.nu/mb52

Replies (9) Good night (429) Bad night (489)

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