I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage