I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
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She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.