Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
