i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
