had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
