smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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