Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
