woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The best revenge is premature balding
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
