Umm I'm too high to move.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
