return my video game
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
