With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
