It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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