i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are we still banned from the library?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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