He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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