I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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