Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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