I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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