i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
